Coercive control is a pattern of controlling behaviour in a relationship. It can look like one partner taking over all the money, checking the other’s phone every night or deciding when they’re allowed to see their family. In Ontario family law, this counts as family violence, even if there was never any physical abuse. A judge has to consider it when deciding custody and parenting arrangements, and it can also affect support and property.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control rarely comes down to one serious incident. More often, it’s many smaller things, such as having to account for every purchase, being made to share your location, or getting the silent treatment after seeing friends. Over time, these take away a person’s freedom to make their own choices. A court looks at the overall pattern.
- Money
Controlling all the money, giving you an allowance, taking on debt in your name, refusing to pay support
- Isolation
Discouraging or preventing contact with friends and family
- Monitoring
Checking your phone, tracking your location, demanding to know where you are
- Threats
Threatening to take the children, to report you to authorities, or to harm themselves, a pet or property
- Daily rules
Setting rules about what you wear, eat or spend, and reacting with anger when they’re broken
- After separation
Using parenting exchanges, messages, support payments or the court case to keep control
If your ex shows narcissistic traits, our guide to legal help for narcissistic abuse explains the warning signs and where to get support.
How Ontario law defines coercive control
In 2021, the federal Divorce Act and Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act were both changed to add a definition of family violence. Both definitions include coercive control.
“…any conduct… by a family member towards another family member, that is violent or threatening or that constitutes a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour…”
The definition of family violence, Divorce Act, section 2(1). The Children’s Law Reform Act, section 18, matches it.
Which law applies depends on your situation.
Federal law. Family violence is a best-interests factor under section 16.
Ontario law. Family violence is a best-interests factor under section 24.
The definitions are the same under both laws.
Physical violence is not required. Psychological abuse and financial abuse are both listed as forms of family violence. A criminal charge is not required either, because the definition applies whether or not the conduct is a crime. For children, family violence also includes being exposed to the behaviour, directly or indirectly.
Parliament has also created a separate criminal offence of coercive control. It is not in force yet and will take effect no later than June 18, 2028.
How coercive control affects parenting decisions
Every parenting decision in Ontario comes down to the best interests of the child. The child’s physical, emotional and psychological safety comes first.
Family violence is one of the factors the court must consider. When family violence is raised, section 16(4) of the Divorce Act and section 24(4) of the Children’s Law Reform Act require the court to look at:
- (a)
How serious and frequent the violence was, and when it happened
- (b)
Whether there is a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour toward a family member
The coercive control factor - (c)
Whether the violence was directed at the child or the child was exposed to it
- (d)
The physical, emotional and psychological harm, or risk of harm, to the child
- (e)
Any compromise to the safety of the child or another family member
- (f)
Whether the violence causes the child or another family member to fear for their safety
- (g)
Any steps the parent who engaged in the violence has taken to prevent it from happening again and to improve their parenting
- (h)
Any other relevant factor
Coercive control can affect two main parts of a parenting order: decision-making responsibility and parenting time.
Decision-making responsibility
Decision-making responsibility means the authority to make major decisions about a child, such as health care, education and religion. It replaced the term “custody” in 2021.
Joint decision-making requires parents to communicate and agree. If one parent has used control over the other, the court may decide that joint decision-making won’t work. It can give decision-making to one parent, or divide it between the parents by topic.
Parenting time
The law says a child should have as much time with each parent as is in the child’s best interests. Where there is coercive control, the court can reduce a parent’s time, add conditions or order that visits be supervised. It can also set rules for communication and for how the children are exchanged.
A finding of coercive control does not automatically reduce a parent’s time. The court will consider how recent the behaviour was, whether it has stopped and what the parent has done to address it. In one Ontario case, the court found a past pattern of coercive control but still ordered equal parenting time, because the behaviour had stopped years earlier.
If your child is at immediate risk, the court can also make emergency custody orders on a temporary basis.
High conflict or coercive control: why the difference matters
Not every difficult separation involves coercive control. Two parents who argue about the schedule, criticize each other’s parenting and don’t trust each other are in a high-conflict separation, but neither is afraid of the other. In coercive control, one parent controls or intimidates the other, and the other parent changes how they act to avoid a reaction.
| High conflict | Coercive control | |
|---|---|---|
| Who is involved | Both parents contribute | One parent controls the other |
| Fear | Frustration and anger, usually not fear | One parent is afraid of the other |
| After separation | Often settles once arrangements are in place | Often continues through the children, money or the court case |
| Orders that tend to fit | Clear schedules, parallel parenting, a parenting coordinator | Sole decision-making, supervised exchanges or parenting time, strict communication limits |
This difference affects which parenting arrangements will work. Parallel parenting, where each parent makes day-to-day decisions in their own home and contact between the parents is kept to a minimum, can work in high-conflict cases. Federal Justice Department guidance says it is not appropriate where coercive control is ongoing. Mediation may also be inappropriate, because the Divorce Act only requires parents to try dispute resolution “to the extent that it is appropriate.”
Courts are also aware that allegations can be exaggerated or made to gain an advantage. A judge will look for evidence of a pattern. Our articles on false allegations in Ontario custody battles and parental alienation explain how courts deal with these issues. For separations that are difficult but not controlling, see our guide to high-conflict divorce in Ontario.
How to prove coercive control in family court
Coercive control usually happens at home, with no one else watching, and courts recognize that it can be hard to prove. A judge can still make a finding based on all of the evidence. Even one proven incident can raise a safety concern.
- Notes made at the time
A dated record of incidents, written as soon as possible after each one
- Messages
Complete text and email threads with dates, not just screenshots of selected messages
- Financial records
Bank and credit card statements, and records showing restricted access to money or debt taken on in your name
- People who saw it
Family members, friends, teachers, doctors or counsellors who saw the behaviour or its effects
- Records from other agencies
Police reports, Children’s Aid Society records and existing court orders, which the court must consider when they’re relevant
Describe specific events rather than using general labels.
“My ex moved my paycheque into an account I couldn’t access and gave me $50 a week”
“My ex was financially abusive”
Be careful with recordings. Ontario courts generally discourage secret recordings in family law matters and often refuse to admit them as evidence, although some have been allowed.
Parenting orders that limit contact-based control
If the court finds coercive control, it can add terms to the parenting order that make it harder for the controlling parent to continue. Which terms it chooses depends on the level of risk:
- 1Communication only through a parenting app or email
Limited to matters about the children
- 2Exchanges at school or daycare
So the parents don’t meet
- 3Supervised exchanges
At a supervised access centre or another neutral location
- 4Supervised parenting time
At one of Ontario’s supervised access centres or with an approved supervisor
The order can also give decision-making to one parent, restrict travel or moving the child, and say which parent keeps the child’s passport.
Supervision usually lasts only as long as the risk does. The parent asking for supervision has to show why it’s needed.
A family law restraining order is different. It’s a separate order that restricts contact with you directly. Our guides to restraining orders in Ontario and Ontario restraining order laws explain the process.
Coercive control, support and property
Financial abuse is one of the listed forms of family violence, and it often affects the support and property side of a case.
Spousal support is not increased to punish bad behaviour. Under the Divorce Act, the court can’t consider a spouse’s misconduct when setting spousal support. Coercive control can still affect the financial case in other ways.
Financial disclosure
In a support or property claim, each party has to provide a sworn financial statement, along with documents such as tax returns and bank statements. If your ex handled all the finances, you may not know what income, accounts or assets exist. The rules on financial disclosure after separation let you request more information and ask the court to order it.
Hidden or reduced income
If a parent hides income, diverts it or refuses to provide income information, the court can impute income. This means it sets support based on what the parent should be earning.
Withheld support
Refusing to pay support can be part of a pattern of control. In a 2023 Ontario Court of Justice case, the judge described a father’s failure to pay child support as “financial abuse” and “strong evidence of controlling and coercive behaviour.”
Lost work or education
If your ex limited your work or education, spousal support can take into account the financial disadvantage that resulted, such as time out of the workforce.
Key points about coercive control in Ontario family law
- Coercive control is family violence under both the Divorce Act and the Children’s Law Reform Act. You don’t need to show physical violence or a criminal charge.
- Judges consider it when deciding who makes decisions for the children, how parenting time works, how parents communicate and whether supervision is needed. Whether the behaviour is still happening matters.
- If the control is ongoing, parallel parenting usually won’t be appropriate, and mediation may not be either.
- Specific, dated evidence carries more weight than general descriptions.
- Coercive control doesn’t increase spousal support, but disclosure rules, imputed income and the new tort of intimate partner violence can address financial control.
Talk to a lawyer about coercive control and your family case
Coercive control affects how a family case should be handled from the start, including the first court documents and any temporary orders. Before you sign an agreement or go to court, speak with a Toronto family lawyer experienced in high-conflict matters. Our lawyers handle family law matters across Ontario, from parenting and support to dividing property.
You don’t have to deal with this alone.
- What happened and what evidence you have
- Safe, realistic parenting arrangements
- The disclosure and support claims that fit your case
Frequently asked questions
Is coercive control illegal in Canada?
Not yet. The Protecting Victims Act, passed in June 2026, creates a criminal offence for coercive or controlling conduct toward an intimate partner, but that offence won’t take effect before June 18, 2028 unless the government sets an earlier date. In the meantime, some controlling behaviour, like criminal harassment or uttering threats, is already a crime. Family courts don’t need a criminal offence to treat coercive control as family violence.
Do I need a police report or criminal charge to raise coercive control in family court?
No. In family court, coercive control counts as family violence whether or not anyone was charged. A police report can help if there is one, but a judge can rely on other evidence, such as your notes, messages and witnesses.
How do you prove coercive control in family court?
By showing a pattern over time. That might include a dated log of incidents, complete message threads, bank statements and people who saw what was happening, such as a relative, a teacher or a counsellor. Specific incidents carry more weight than general statements.
Can you sue for coercive control in Ontario?
Yes. In May 2026, the Supreme Court of Canada recognized a new tort of intimate partner violence. It lets you claim money damages from a current or former partner for coercive control, and the claim can be part of your family law case.
Is financial control a form of coercive control?
It can be. Financial abuse is listed as a form of family violence. Taking control of all the money, putting debt in your name, hiding income or refusing to pay support can all be part of a pattern. In one Ontario case, the court treated unpaid child support as evidence of coercive control.
