Narcissism & Narcissistic Behavior

Divorcing a Narcissist

What is a Narcissist?

To begin, it is crucial to understand that narcissism is a personality disorder that is frequently associated with other personality disorders (bipolar, Borderline, Psychopathy, etc.).

According to the Mayo Clinic “narcissistic personality disorder is a psychiatric disorder in which individuals have an exaggerated sense of their own value, a strong need for attention and admiration, problematic relationships, and a lack of empathy for others,”

Behind their outward confidence and grandeur is a fragile sense of self-worth. They present themselves as flawless because they are frightened of being judged as flawed in any way. Because narcissists’ self-esteem is so fragile, they are sensitive to even minor criticism.

Divorcing a narcissist is typically unpleasant, costly, and draining because of all of this. Narcissists refuse to believe that the standard divorce rules apply to them.

Common signs that someone struggles with this personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies:

• A grandiose sense of self-importance
• An overblown sense of entitlement
• Exhibiting manipulative or gaslighting behaviors
• Exaggerating their accomplishments
• Taking advantage of or exploiting others
• Refusing to recognize or empathize with the feelings of others

• Refusing to take responsibility for their actions

How a Narcissist may React to Divorce:

Narcissists are known for fighting hard and viewing divorce as a competition they must win. Bullying, exploitative conduct, and a refusal to engage sensibly can all come from this combative mentality. When they feel they are “losing” or not getting their way, narcissists have been known to turn to abusive behaviour.

During a divorce, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to:

• Refuse to provide any financial documents
• Refuse to collaborate with you and your legal counsel.
• Be bitter in your actions
• Accuse others of bad behaviour or acts.
• Obstruction or disobedience of court orders

Successfully dealing with Narcissists during divorce

While there is no one-size-fits-all technique to dealing with narcissists during the divorce process, there are several broad approaches, tactics, and strategies to consider:

• Document, document, document – When it comes to what they say, narcissists are typically charming and convincing. The documents clearly speak for themselves (and what a Court will base its decision on). To fight a “he said – she said” situation, gather as much documentary evidence as possible (emails, texts, financial information).
• Negotiate or mediate as little as possible; narcissists want to win, not settle. So, unless binding mediation / arbitration is used, negotiations or mediation are pointless and a waste of emotional and financial resources. It is wiser to dedicate those resources to court action.
• Move the procedure along – narcissists prefer to prolong the Court process (to maintain their power and control), not shorten it. Don’t prolong your relationship with a narcissist; instead, move the Court process along as rapidly as possible so you may get away from the narcissist.
• Stay strong – narcissists in the divorce process are unconcerned about others (including their own children) – try to stay on the ‘high road’ and avoid getting dragged into the ‘game’; attempt to separate your feelings for your ex-spouse from the facts. This could include enlisting the help of a support group (i.e., family, coaches, therapists, etc.). Many people emerge through the Court process stronger and more self-assured than they were in their prior partnership, which lasted many years.

How Can Nussbaum Family Law help?

At Nussbaum Family Law, we understand how frightening the idea of a contentious, lengthy divorce is. You do not, have to go through it alone. In and out of court, having a good legal team on your side can make a tremendous difference. A skilled lawyer can help you feel more confident while fighting for your rights in court, in addition to giving you with the legal support you need to protect yourself and your children.

Our lawyers understand how a narcissist’s mind operates and how to follow their rules to get the greatest divorce settlements. You can also get legal advice from a family law professional when it comes to divorcing a narcissistic spouse.

The right lawyer understands a narcissist’s court and legal techniques, as well as how their mind operates and how to see through their harmful intentions. Negotiating a divorce settlement with a narcissist might be much easier with the right lawyer on your side than without one.

Do not let gaslighting and manipulation affect your divorce. We can help you learn your right and protect yourself. Safeguard your future and get in touch to schedule your initial consultation with a trusted family law attorney. Call us today.